
Lately I've become suspicious that Mom & Dad wait until I'm asleep, and then they formulate little secret plans. I think they hatch plots about what ridiculous items they're going to dress me in, what college I'm going to, how to ensure I get good SAT and golf scores, etc. Thankfully, Robert and Shannon Griffin sent me Dumbo the Elephant. He's become my cribmate and my chief confidante. He shares my concerns. We decided we just couldn't leave Mom & Dad unsupervised. Last week when it came time for bedtime I began to let forth with a series of good, long yowls until Mom & Dad got the picture and got me out of the crib. For good measure, I gave them a couple of early morning reminders at 3:45 AM. You should've seen the look on Daddy's face. You would think the stock market just crashed or that the Cowboys forgot to show up for a football game. What do they expect? I'm an infant, that's how I communicate. What am I supposed to do, designate Dumbo as my chief negotiator and take the case to arbitration? I know they've been in secret communication with my grandparents, and aunts Judee and Mary on advice on how to 'establish a good sleep routine.' Fine. Fine. Fine. They want sleep, I decided to give them sleep. I've slept twelve hours continuously the last couple of nights and a lot during the day. I just want to note for the record, that while I am now better rested and generally in a better disposition, my job productivity is on the downswing. I'll never get my novel finished at this rate. When I'm a teenager and Mom & Dad are complaining that I won't get out of bed, you can bet that I'm going to bring this whole episode up.