My First 100 Days

Well, the President always makes a big deal out of his first 100 days in office, so I'd like to share some of my accomplishments. I've learned alot since birth. I can focus, I can coo and make all kinds of baby noises, but most important, I can smile. My parents go crazy for that! It doesn't matter what I do, one smile and they're like putty in my hands. Sometimes I even wake up crying in the middle of the night, then I flash them a smile with a giggle (for a little extra pizzaz) and they don't even mind being up anymore.

My administration has not been without its challenges. For starters, I can't seem to get any variety in my diet. True I love milk, but by my count I've had 615 consecutive meals of nothing but the stuff. I think the first word I'm going to say is going to be "Moo." What does it take to get a steak in this place? Also, my parents tend to dress me in one-piece ensembles, not seeming to know that this was last popular when Fat Elvis was playing The Mirage in Vegas. Get with the program people. How about a trip to Brooks Brothers, or at least a pair of Dockers?